Korifaeus Magazine

••• The Big Brother's, oops, i mean Apple's Gazette ••• A Sophisticated Periodical with Panache and a Sense of Humor

How to pick a Baby Name. Need directions ? North West ?

By Korifaeus

Surely you’ve all heard about the Kardashians ? Even i, who is embarrassingly ignorant about media vogueisms, have heard about them, since one of them – mostly Kim Kardashian – is consistently on the covers of various tabloid magazines. It’s difficult not to see it, thus heck, even i know of them, though i’ve never seen their TV show. But,…. a little while ago i checked their youtube channel, which features some of their episodes, to get a clue as to the Kardashian mystery.

I don’t get it, personally, but many folks apparently do and like what the Kardashians share with the public, which proves the Kardashians are shrewd business people realizing what exactly it is that sells best in this country = Superficial glitz and glimmer. Thus realizing what sells in much of the U.S., specifically to the lesser to do audience who’d vicariously strive living the lives of the rich and famous, they created the Armenian style Reality Show of ” Dynasty”, a top rated 1980’s TV Series, incorporating all of what made “Dynasty” so successful = betrayal, duplicity, deception, double-crossing, divorces, superficial over the top glamor, etc.

All the credit to the Kardiashians, ‘cuz they’re not the superficial ones i’m sure; they’re the smart cookies cashing in on OUR superficiality = America’s superficiality. We’ve become a people, ( not all of course) who applaud celebrity more than achievement; the discoverer of a life saving medication won’t be signing autographs any time soon, nor be taking photos with adoring fans who’s ambition it is to be like him, – whereas celebrities, like the Kardashians, are idolized by millions who wish to dress and look like them ‘cuz they’re……. celebrities.

Example:Last year i asked a 9 year girl what she wants to be when she grows up. Her answer: ” Famous”. “Famous for what ?” i inquired. ” I don’t know, just famous”, she replied.

Thus since we’ve become such a celebrity imitating society i wondered how many folks may name their newborn ” North”, or West, South, or East perhaps ? I’m referring to Kim’s, and i suppose her husband’s ( boyfriend/baby father), baby name choice. I had to grin ‘cuz i can’t really believe they actually want to name their baby girl ” North”. Surely it’s a gimmick for their reality show ? The baby’s name may well be North on ” The Kardashians”, with the baby actually being given a different name in real life ?

But let’s assume it’s really true and Kim plus hubby chose ” North” for their baby girl, to have an airline sounding full name, North West, for their child; how much thought was put into choosing a name for their child ? A kid has to live with the name given to him/her by its parents until its old enough to perhaps change it, if not happy with it.

What’s the meaning of ” North” ?

In Asian countries – Korea, China, Japan – parents choose a name for their children from Chinese pictographs so to bless the child with a name that they hope the child will become, like ” Heart of Tiger”, ” Fearless Dragon”, etc. for boys, and ” Fragrant Flower”, Blooming Locus”, or such, for girls.

In various Religious cultures parents pick a name from the Bible, though i never understood why some picked the name ” Cain” for their baby boy. (?) Some pick the name of a fruit, like Gwyneth Paltrow who’s baby is said to’ve been named ” Apple”. Others pick the name of flowers for their daughters; Margarita, Rose, Lilly, etc.

Animal names are often favored in German/Italian cultures – Wolf, Leo, Ari, Aquila, Paloma. Point is there are so many names to choose from, or words to choose from. “Panorama”, anyone ?

But the Kardashians came up with a new idea for baby names = ” Directions”
North, West, South, East. Soon to be added, Left and Right, for the twins perhaps ?

The first thought that came to me when hearing about ” North”, is how her future boyfriend, husband ends up hollering her name during intimate moments of pleasure. I swear, that’s the first thought that came to me. ” OH PALOMAAAAAA” – that flows easily; all names ending in vowels flow easily.

Now imagine the height of the nuptial night is reached and the husband …………
” OH NORRRTHhhhhhhhh”

It ends up sounding like a leaking tire.
Oh, …. now i get it, duh. But then, why not pick a name ending with PF ? 😉

Can anyone think of a more feminine sounding name than a word ending with not one, but TWO consonants ? If the direction ” North” is so meaningful to Kim Kardashian why not use another language’s word for “North”. I checked and the only one that ends in a vowel sounding somewhat cute, was the Turkish word for North – ” Kuzey”. Kuzey Kardashian. Or, rather, Kuzey West.
Whatta ya think Ms. Kim ?
With this Turkish/Armenian name, your daughter will automatically be the Ambassador of Good Will leading to World Peace. How about that for an ” Achievement” ? 😉



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