Korifaeus Magazine

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Create your very own “Syndrome” – It’s the new MUST

When U know U best
By Korifaeus

Though the whole APA dilemma is a sad and alarming thing, i chose to have a ball with the revised new edition of the highly scrutinized and criticized DSM 5. According to “respectable” Psychiatrist ( at home and abroad) the APA is making up “mental disorders” that don’t exist. But it seems to become fashionable to have at least one syndrome or disorder – why be an outcast ? But who to better diagnose and make up a syndrome for oneself than oneself ?

Though it’s well known to the Psychiatric and Medical Community that many folks self-diagnose themselves via the internet, using the DSM or ICD to find a vogue disorder or syndrome they find suitable, looking up and memorizing all the symptoms listed “prior” to seeing a specialist so to tell him/her about “their” symptoms to receive the diagnosis they wish to have ( it’s a cat and mouse game ), it does seem far more constructive and creative to make up new disorders for oneself that fit ?

After all, we “should” know ourselves better than anyone ?

If totally honest one can create a new syndrome for oneself that feels right and is accurate, thus let’s see with what syndromes i could diagnose myself, which may be shared by others, or is individualistic. If it’s shared by others, it’s on top of being a syndrome a “cultural” or “kin-related” quirk, 😉

I’m an egomaniacal narcissist, i know that ‘cuz I’m full of myself – being “full of one’s self” is the major symptom for egomaniacal narcissism. It’s definitely a syndrome.

I’ve written a little satire about it some time back, see: https://korifaeusmagazine.wordpress.com/2012/08/11/the-most-selfish-person-on-earth/

The mere fact of me self-promoting my satire backs my diagnosis of being an egomaniacal narcissist, btw.

I don’t even make excuses, that’s how self-righteous I am about my narcissism; i am so narcissistic in fact that i only talk about myself, NEVER about other people, unless i feel the need to praise their talent, but i refuse to spread rumors, gossip or make up stories about other people.

IF spreading rumors or gossip or make up stories then only about myself.

Which brings me to my next syndrome with which i can positively diagnose myself; it’s “Obsessive Devil’s Advocate Syndrome”.

I am obsessed with being the Devil’s Advocate and have had that syndrome since i was little. Obsessive Devil’s Advocate Syndrome, short, ODAS.

I should put that behind my name – all abbreviations for syndromes and disorders should be placed behind one’s name, like PHDs, etc – why not wear it with pride ?
Leagan E. Kasper, ODAS

Another syndrome i can positively diagnose myself with is ” Self Punishment Syndrome”. I don’t allow anyone to yell at me or speak in a harsh tone of voice to me because of a mistake i made. IF anyone yells at me then it’s me and ONLY me.

I rarely yell at me, though; i can not stand yelling nor yellers and i would like me less were i too frequently yell at me. Were i to like me less i would stop being an ego maniacal narcissist, because in order to be one i have to like me and i like being an egomaniacal narcissist.

When i broke a toe on two occasions due to stupidity, i yelled at me, i had to yell at me, to make sure i don’t ever do that again, ‘cuz it REALLY hurts. I’m sure it won’t happen again ‘cuz i can’t stand it when i have to yell at me.

When making a mistake i KNOW i made a mistake and no one has to feel the need to remind me of it in a harsh voice; i give myself the business with much more authority AND call myself names, as well, like so, ….and i’m not kidding.

Mistake made and acknowledged and there i go;
” Leagan, you stupid idiot, don’t you EVER do that again”.
Or, “Darnit Leagan, pay attention!”

When i’m really upset with me i call me by my first and middle name like so: ” Leagan Erdurtag, you camel cow, you. For the rest of the day no singing and no piano !”

I give myself punishments because i won’t allow anyone else to punish me; IF i feel it’s needed then i do it myself ‘cuz i know with what i can punish me. No singing and no piano is upsetting and takes a lot of self-control to obey my order.
Self-punishment syndrome, short, SPS.
Leagan E. Kasper, ODAS, SPS.
It’s starting to look impressive, huh ?

I also have Self-Compliment Syndrome ( SCS ). I compliment myself when i feel i deserve it AND literally pat myself on the shoulder. It’s so rewarding. And when i’m really proud of an accomplishment i “applaud” myself – heartily and joyfully clapping my hands and ……. thank God for all the syndromes he has bestowed upon me with which i shall live happily ever after.

Sincerely yours,
Leagan E. Kasper, ODAS, SPS, SCS. 😉

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