Korifaeus Magazine

••• The Big Brother's, oops, i mean Apple's Gazette ••• A Sophisticated Periodical with Panache and a Sense of Humor

Vatican speak: Thou shallt not Masturbate

The Church is right
by Korifaeus

Masturbation is not approved by the Church, and i agree with the Church. Masturbation is anything but prudent – it’s just not right to masturbate. Having said that, the Church does not provide an explanation as to the interpretation of the word, masturbation. Though there are numerous theories as to what is meant, we’re usually under the impression it means not to sexually stimulate oneself for pleasure.

Due to this false interpretation many people oppose the Church’s authority, while yet it’s not the Church’s fault that folks believe this false interpretation.
Even the dictionary states that masturbation = the stimulation of one’s self for sexual pleasure.

But the dictionary, just as many other books we grant authority to, were written by men, by people, who most often copied something from another dictionary; and the more people began copying a statement that was initially false, it became truth to many people, because of the quantity of different dictionaries all stating the very same interpretation, due to copy cats taking down a false interpretation.

All it takes is a “good” latin dictionary and it becomes very clear that ” Mas Turbatio” ( Mas = male, Turbatio = to tempt, provoke, tease) doesn’t mean self-stimulation, rather to ” provoke” men sexually. A woman should not sexually ” tease” a man – be sexually ” provocative”, which is cruel to turn a man on, then leave him to himself, especially if its someone with a temper = ” don’t bark at a tiger, he may bite”.

That’s common sense, but since some people appear not to have common sense, the Church, which in the literal sense of the word is an Educational Institution, suggested some laws by which to abide so those lacking common sense won’t get into any trouble ; which is pretty nice of the church to do, me thinks.

People with common sense morality don’t need laws. They know not to steal, nor to hurt nor slander people, etc. Laws were made for those without scruples, lacking the sense of common decency and morality, in need to be reminded of what not to do. The Church acts only as a higher authority to suggest a few more laws by which to abide so everyone can live peacefully side by side.

And if we’d take the time to look up a few words, the Church won’t continue to look like such a bad guy, in fact, we’d agree because most of what the Church proposes is actually just common sense.

Can gay couples get married ?
According to “nature’s laws” it’s highly improbable for a ” marriage” to occur, unless a couple is made of male and female, considering the word ” Matrimony” consists of the word Mater/ Matre/Matria, meaning ” mother”, and a marriage means to commit to a person to ” mate ” with, creating a family tree.

For a matrimonial between a couple made of male and female to take place is far easier – all the female needs to do is to mas turbate – in the literal sense of the latin word, that is 😉

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