Korifaeus Magazine

••• The Big Brother's, oops, i mean Apple's Gazette ••• A Sophisticated Periodical with Panache and a Sense of Humor

Russian Santa with Tattoos – Movie Review

Here come the Guardians
by Korifaeus

Animation films are my favorite movies; they entertain me more than any other movies because they’re upbeat, humorous, non-vulgar, clean, and the expressions are so alive and more real, many times, because they’re so exaggerated as opposed to the new acting style of nowadays with actors trying to act so “natural” and real that they’ve become unnatural and “expressionless”. Real films of today often lack “theatricality”. Not everyone is a Robert De’Niro who can make his “eyes sparkle” when feeling joy – expressing “emotions”.

And because i so very much delight in watching animated movies i see every animated movie of the year.

This year i looked forward to quite a few films but was really eager to see ” Rise of the Guardians” after seeing some ads about it. I embrace fairy tales, imagination, the super heroes of my childhood, from Santa to Wizards – it’s all feel good stuff thus i wrote a song about it earlier this year, titled, “Gimmy back my Santa”, slowly growing tired of “adult” entertainment that’s becoming more gruesome every year.

Thus i couldn’t wait to see “Rise of the Guardians” thinking what a great idea and then i saw the movie. It started out quite interestingly, also the visuals of Jack Frost and the Moon were outstanding, and then i saw…..the one i looked forward to the most, Santa.

” Was that Santa ?”, i thought to myself hoping it wasn’t and the real Santa would show momentarily. But the white bearded man with the strong Russian accent was indeed Santa. Santa with a heavy Russian accent may well be historically correct, see Santa versus the Christmas Man – but someone with a Russian accent in an english language film is usually the bad guy trying to conquer the west by trapping James Bond, to enforce communism.

Santa a former Soviet spy ?

Disregarding the Russian accent, Santa’s lower arms were covered in tattoos. I doubt it was henna art, or Viking war symbols even though they had a Celtic and Runic look to them.

Was this not a movie for kids, as well ? And they were presented with a Russian accented Santa bearing tattoos on his underarms ? Great inspiration for kids, …. not ?

By the time i saw the Easter bunny, once known to be a cute little and cuddly bunny, i was hoping for the ” Fall” of these Guardians rather than their rise. Easter bunny turned out to be a gigantic tough guy brute with a bad attitude and an australian accent, carrying a boomerang. The most unappealing creature of em all and only vaguely resembled a bunny; the features of his face were more reminiscent of an animation grey Tiger, who reminded me of Scar, the evil uncle of the Lion King.

The hummingbird tooth fairy was quite lovely, but the dark nightmare-maker, with the black horses from the Apocalypse, appeared to’ve come out of one of the recent Dracula movies, thus it didn’t surprise me that it turned into the non-box-office hit it turned into.

The only part in the movie that was touching, and yes magical, moving me to tears was toward the end when Jack Frost found the one kid that still believed in the Easter Bunny and could actually see Jack Frost, keeping imagination and the magic of “innocence” alive, thus saving the world.

A happy ending, but it was a struggle to get through the movie with hardly any appealing characters in it outside of Jack Frost and perhaps the humming-bird lady aka tooth fairy.

Can we expect a Sequel? Superman with body piercing and earrings.

Gimmy back my Santa

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