••• The Big Brother's, oops, i mean Apple's Gazette ••• A Sophisticated Periodical with Panache and a Sense of Humor
The Unedited Version
The following is the way the First Lady’s speech may have looked before the DNC edited it:
My dear friends.
I want to share with you all how the man i love really is and how he was before when we met and i can tell you all with all my heart ( take a moment to tear up a bit ) he has not changed at all.
When we first met twenty-three years ago, the proudest possession he had was a coffee table he got from the dumpster. He slept on a wooden floor, covering himself with a thin old linen sheet his Indonesian step father spun and wove himself – with his head resting on a straw filled pillow from Kenya, given to him by the mother of his Kenyan father, a descendent of Kunta Kinte.
When he invited me to dinner on our very first date, we sat on the floor in front of the small coffee table, because he had neither chairs nor a sofa. Earlier that day he went to pick some leaves from the park, which he prepared with love so he could offer me something to eat.
DIRECTION – double the word “i ” and the word ” and” several times for effect, to make it sound like spontaneous story telling –
As so many of you during the great depression, he wore the same shoes he wore when he was 18 years old and – and by the time we met they were a number too small for him. But that didn’t matter to him. I – i knew he was a leader and he is still the same man i met 23 years ago.
End of part one
Part two of Michele Obama’s original speech – before the DNC edited it
When i met Barack, seeing how very poor he was, i went down south over the weekend and got a job on the cotton fields, as so many of us and our ancestors. In the mornin i – i picked the cotton and in the evenin i helped Master Johnson, whom i called Massa Johnson, sharpen his pensils And – and after that i sewed the dresses for Mammy Johson, whom i called Madam Sahib.
Eventually i – i could save enough money to buy an old couch from a thrift store for Barack’s one room walk up so we had something more comfortable to sit on.