Korifaeus Magazine

••• The Big Brother's, oops, i mean Apple's Gazette ••• A Sophisticated Periodical with Panache and a Sense of Humor

Mitt Romney, the high school bully

Hair-cut gate
by Korifaeus

” I don’t remember”, is what Mitt Romney said to have answered, when asked about a haircutting incident in high school. Mitt Romney is accused of having been a bully in high school, who was involved in holding down a fellow to cut his long blond hair.”

” I don’t remember”, is not a good answer. Everyone knows what one is capable of, or has been capable of doing during high school. If someone were to accuse me of the aforementioned, i could confidently say, ” Not true”, – ” it would never enter my mind to cut someone’s hair off.”

To state, ” I don’t remember”, suggests that it may have occurred, but one chooses not to lie about it, thus instead of saying, ” Not true”, one says, ” I don’t remember”.

I’m going to be Devil’s Advocate and will take this case to a hypothetical court.
Allow me…

Devil’s Advocate: ” The kid with long hair was threatened to be thrown out of the prestigious prep-school, unless he cuts his very long hair, which was against the Prep-school rules. The teenager refused and even his parents had a difficult time to talk him into cutting his hair. He had haircut issues since he was a little boy, which is not unusual, your Honor, i’ve known many kids who refused to have their hair cut – myself included ( but thank God i’m a girl ).

Realizing the kid could be thrown out of the boarding school, unless he cuts his hair, Mitt Romney, a ring leader, suggested to his buddies to grab him, hold him down, and cut his hair.

Naturally the teenager was upset, since his hair was cut against his will, but he was allowed to stay in school and graduated with bravura.

Yes, your honor and dear jury, Mitt Romney did indeed cut the boy’s hair and was the instigator.
But i ask you, was it done with vicious intent ?
Was it done to hurt someone ? No.”

Judge:” What exactly did Mitt Romney not remember, though ?”

Devils Advocate:” He doesn’t remember if the boy was gay or not, because back in 1965 teenagers, and folks in general, weren’t open about homosexuality, like they’re today, your Honor.

Judge: “Thank you for clarifying.”

Devil’s Advocate:” You’re welcome.”

Judge:” Does the left have any other accusations against Mister Romney, involving deceased persons unable to testify for themselves? If no, i think we can get back to the issues, regarding the future of this country.

Well, that was fun, 😉



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This entry was posted on May 10, 2012 by in Politics and tagged , , , , , , .
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