Korifaeus Magazine

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When Shrinks shrink men of Great Stature

Psychiatry of Today

By Korifaeus

Had Psychiatry of today existed during the times of our Biblical Patriarchs, Abraham would not have been known through the Bible, but through a pre-historic Psychiatric paper in which he would have been named as the first person diagnosed with Schizophrenia, because he heard the voice of God.

Noah would have been the second person diagnosed with Schizophrenia, because God told him to build a gigantic boat to safe him and his family from the great flood. A Psychiatrist of the 21st century would have put him on medication in no time, would Noah have told the pre-historic psychiatrist that God wants to save no other person on earth but him and his family.
Each and everyone of our biblical Patriarchs and Matriarchs, Heros and Prophets would have been listed in the Paleo-Psychiatric book, had Psychiatrist evaluated them with use of the 21st century DSM.

One imagine a woman comes into the office of a Psychiatrist telling the doctor she’s engaged to Jesus ? Nuns are engaged to Jesus, though; the reason they wear a simple golden band on their ring finger – an engagement ring.

The Dalai Lama, someone with millions upon millions of followers, insists he is a God. Would Willi Wannabe insist on being a God, without providing some sort of evidence, for example, Zimzalabim the Tornado stops – Abrabadabra the floods disappear – and wow, he can walk over water, he’d be diagnosed with Megalomania AND Schizophrenia.

Thus if i understand Psychiatry of today correctly, it’s perfectly healthy and normal to announce one’s self as God and no one would suggest the person suffers from a psychosis AS LONG as he has a lot of followers. Whereas individuals who have no followers, would be diagnosed with a psychosis and locked up in a mental ward were they to proclaim the same.

I believe in God. And i believe there are people able to perceive higher wisdom, not unlike the great thinkers of old, or the biblical Prophets and Patriarchs. But should such people exist, i doubt they’d go public, because surely they’d be locked up or put on pills. Possibly the reason why there aren’t any Prophets around anymore, like in the days of the bible.

Which reminds me of a little joke:
An older Gentlemen with white hair, a long white beard, walks back and forth on the Psychiatric ward.
Says the nurse:” Why so agitated ?”
”Answers the Gentlemen:” You think its easy to run the world ?”

.

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This entry was posted on April 9, 2012 by in Satire and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .