Korifaeus Magazine

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Man came from Ape and where did the Ape come from ?

The Evolutionists
By Korifaeus

I’m creating myself my family tree ( scientifically speaking) and according to Darwin we evolved from the Apes. But from which Ape exactly did my peoples come from ? There are so many different Apes to choose from.
There is the Orang Utan, the Gorilla, the Chimpanzee, and the Bonobo. Should a branch of African apes have evolved into upright walking men why not the Orang Utan, too ? Ash Brown and Reddish hair must have come from somewhere ? Or cuddly males ?

The Orang Utan is the stepchild amongst the great apes because hardly anyone considers that this species, or a branch thereof, may have evolved into upright walking men, as well. We mostly hear about us humans coming out of Africa.
While yet, he, the Orang Utan, is the only one with a high forehead.

I, too, have a high forehead. Maybe my peoples evolved from the Orang Utan. He’s also the only one walking upright when still little and has light skin, especially when a newborn, which turns darker over the years with sun exposure.
Personally i wouldn’t mind being a descendant of Orang Utans. They’re a lovely species, very friendly and family oriented, according to what i read.

But i’m not a vegetarian and enjoy some meat, chicken or fish on occasion, as well as a breakfast egg. On my forefather’s side i’d pick myself a Orang Utan, a herbivore, but on my foremother’s side i need an omnivore.
The Chimp is too aggressive. Since i’m creating my family tree myself, the ape needs to have a personality that fits my peoples. One must remain objective.

A Gorilla lady is acceptable as a female ancestor, but Gorillas are herbivores. I need an omnivore on my foremother’s side to create a realistic and accurate family tree.
Chimps are omnivores, but aside from their aggressive behavior they’re not monogamous and the male does not look into the female’s face when making her happy, as is common amongst the animals. (that’s why they’re animals) But the missionary position must have come from somewhere ?

The Bonobo is the only one taking missionary position when satisfying one another. They look into each others faces. They’re also omnivores but aren’t aggressive, quite the opposite. They’re a very sensual species and love to make love. Perfect…
because the female must have been a sensible sensual species to have been able to seduce a Orang Utan male.
Thus a branch of the Orang Utan must have wandered off some time back, to have run into a branch of Bonobo, and Miss Bonobo lured Mister Orang Utan male with a smile, showed him the missionary position, which was oh so refreshingly new to him, and they became a pair. The result was a hybrid of the two, my ancestors.

Terrific, my family tree is almost created, but where did the apes come from ? Humans evolved from the apes, and who were the ancestors of the apes ?

Genetically we’re much closer related to the pig than to apes, even though we have a greater physical resemblance to apes ( on the outside). Humans can use insulin from pigs, should the pancreas not produce sufficient insulin as in the case of diabetics. It’s also possible to transplant organs from pigs into human beings, as in heart valves, for example.
The embryo of a pig is extremely similar to an embryo of a human being, so much so they can easily be confused with one another.
I’m not so sure if i would like to have a pig in my family tree, though, but where did the ape come from ? It must have come from some species ?

Pigs are a newer species, having evolved from the boar. It sounds much better to be related to a boar than to a pig. But there must have been another species that mated with an ancient boar for an ape to have come out of that union.
The most seductive species of all species is the cat. And cats are known to be incredibly curious – so curious, they may have wondered what it would be like to have a little tete a tete with another species.
I’m certain there is a cat somewhere in my family tree because my peoples are singers – not howlers like wolves, but singers like cats. When cats are in heat they start singing so loud, every male cat in the neighborhood hears their singing and Madame won’t stop singing until she is satisfied.

For all one knows there wasn’t a male cat around one day during evolution, and since cats are known to be extremely curious and a she cat so happened to have been in heat, she saw Mister Boar, sang, and thought to herself, why not ?
It was probably no ordinary house cat – a bit bigger, probably the size of a puma, an ancestor of the house cat. Possibly the reason for the Egyptian Sphinx, a hybrid of human and cat. Mankind thanked her with the enormous stature for the courageous act of having seduced a boar, otherwise humans would have never come into existence.

Thus should i be asked about my family tree; well, pure-blooded i am not. My paternal forefather was a Orang Utan and on the maternal side there was a Bonobo. And my paternal ancestor before that was a Boar, and my maternal Ancestor was a Paleo-Cat.
Well, someone had to seduce the pig to make a man out of him.

And where did the cat come from ?

Uh oh, me thinks someone kissed a frog …

“GREAT¹²GRANDMA, how COULD YOU ???”

.

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This entry was posted on April 5, 2012 by in Observation and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , .
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