Korifaeus Magazine

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How to infiltrate the Western World – Great tip for Communists

The should have been Cold-War Novel
by Korifaeus

If you’re a communist leader, or someone associated with groups trying to establish communist strongholds in the western world, i had some great ideas how it could be done – the very best i could come up with.

1.The first tip should have actually happened during Nasr’s times ( Nasr was a former President of Egypt). The USSR, i.e., Soviet Union, should have established an alliance with Nasr, by which a whole lot of Minor Asians, Black sea region, Caucasus, from the former USSR would have migrated to Egypt and when Nationalized, thus attaining Egyptian citizenship, becoming Muslims, move to other middle eastern countries as well, with the next generation speaking perfectly well Arabic.

But make sure the Women don’t have holes in their earlobes, ‘cuz that’s against the Law of “Salam”, also known as Islam ( though there is no i in the Arabic alphabet, SLM) Musalam women wear earrings but either clip-ons or with little screws, since, to make holes in the body is against the philosophy of Salam. Women in Musalam countries with holes in their noses and earlobes are usually of Indian or Asian descent.

2. Take advantage of the loopholes in the American System, for example the divisions between the different Government agencies/departments – taking the Social Security Number of a deceased person to become an American Citizen. Then have those people move to different states, far away from possible family members surprised to meet someone baring the same name as one of their deceased relatives. That should be avoided.

But caution, some are traps with Government agents officially deceased, working under new aliases, thus if you’ll get the wrong Social Security number, you’ll be discovered as a fraud, but it will also cause some hilarity, because of the wonderful irony.

3. It should speak for itself that those who’re going to take the Identity of a deceased American, or engaging in identity fraud/theft first learn American English, thus language and culture classes for the future infiltrates should be established before sending the future communist stronghold oversees. Very important for future infiltrates, aside from language, is to know the culture. Same goes for those sent to central European countries. It’s a must to know what a Washington apple is ( no, not an apple named after George Washington) also what a southern belle is ( no, not a hollow metal thing creating a ring tone, but a southern beauty) and a Georgia peach – it’s not always the fruit that’s meant.

4. Tip number 4 should have occurred during the eighties, at the fall of the Shah of Persia. Dari speaking country men ( Dari is a Farsi language) of the minor Asian region of the former USSR, should have swarmed the U.S. claiming to be Persians seeking Asylum. Many of whom should claim to’ve been Doctors (papers got lost, etc) then get jobs as Civil Surgeons, giving blood tests and check ups to Green Card applicants.

It’s best to practice a few standard tests before practicing as a Doctor to avoid being caught. For example the Tuberculosis test. One does not push the entire needle into the skin of the lower underarm. One is supposed to only create a small bubble underneath the first layer of the Derma.

6. Ask the support of Asian ethnic groups in eastern and south-eastern Russia; teaching them Spanish, because they’re very capable rolling the R and use the L sound, unlike the Japanese, they could become very believable Mexicans who’re then discharged to move to Mexico where they can easily attain a Mexican passport for little money, then move to the Unites States. Mexican workers are always welcome. They’re very industrial.

Just make sure to teach them Christian, specifically, Catholic holidays, because Mexicans are Catholic, so they’ll know that Christmas is called Navidad and not Pasques. Also, make sure not to confuse the eastern U.S. Hispanic cultures – Puerto Rican, Dominican, Jamaican – with Central American cultures, like Mexicans ( who are “usually” on the West coast, such as New Mexico, Texas, Arizona, Nevada, California). Mexicans don’t use terms such as Mommy, and Papi addressing men and women. 😉

Oops, i just realized that all of the tips aren’t going to work, because of the “belly buttons”. I totally forgot taking them into consideration. This could have been my great Cold-War Novel; such imaginative ideas, really, i was so proud of me, and then …to forget the belly buttons ? Oh, well, i guess that’s why i became a scribe rather than a strategist.

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This entry was posted on March 28, 2012 by in Satire and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .
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