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A World full of fake News

If i was a News Media Magnate
by Korifaeus
If i was a news media magnate i’d create news all over the world, to be able to write about it, sell papers. Lots of them. In order to sell papers one needs headlines with content that’s interesting to people.

Most attention is paid to
1. Wars
2. Diseases ( epidemics)
3. Celebrities

In order to create news about these three topics most interesting to people, i’d have to create wars, diseases and make up stories about celebrities.

Since i wouldn’t have fun creating actual wars, since that’s way to complicated – having to hire people who hire people to stir things up around the world – then making sure it can’t be connected to me, etc. – aside from me being more interested in humor than conflicts of any kind, i’d build my own news studio. A studio where i have actors, extras, putting them in costumes of militia fighters, rebels and all sorts of troublemakers – i’ll even direct the actor rebels to throw stones into the direction of the camera to make it look unquestionably real.

It should speak for itself that the DP ( Director of Photography ) will use “shake and bake” ( it’s a term for a camera movement) to give it some authentic looking suspense. Most importantly i’d make sure that the sun’s shadows thrown onto the ground, buildings etc. are in correspondence with the season of the set location – especially since i’d be creating all of that with green screens in the studio – which saves a lot of money – rather than going on location. ( Paying for hotels for the actors ? I think not ? )

When on the set outside the studio, in nature, filming some of my actor rebels in their hiding places of some exotic country, i’d make sure that the trees, bushes and plants in the background are native to the geographical area of the country i’m supposedly filming at.

I’d most certainly make sure the costumes are “authentic” as to the clothes/outfits locals wear in the countries i’m “supposedly” filming. Say i hired a Jordanian actor to play a Yemeni rebel, considered a dangerous terrorist. I’d make sure he;d be wearing authentic clothing according to Yemenis, not have him wear clothing folks would wear in Oman, and most certainly not have him wear an Omani dagger in the belt. Everyone would right away know it’s a fake, especially folks in the middle east.

Authentic looking costumes is important when producing fake news that’s supposed to look believable. Not like ” Lawrence of Arabia”, with him also wearing Omani daggers. Really, what was he doing in Oman ?

But i’d even go a step further once i have my News Studio, actors, props ( including cars with the correct license plates, etc), realizing how believable my news-films will be, and start the most innovative crime fighting system, working with every country around the world, whose interest it is to once and for all prevent any sort of crimes from happening.

Thus the world’s most technologically advanced law enforcement intelligence will bug and survey every single person suspected to be in connection with illegalities in the world. They’d create a world-wide sort of computer web, as well as social networks, free emails and every possible interactive site and tool imaginable, with which and on which people engage “voluntarily, including all those under surveillance due to being suspects to illegalities.

The intelligence will then create bad guys connecting with them, working on plots creating havoc. The exact plans as to target, time and place will then be created in the News Studio, to be broadcast as news, by which the bad guys believe their plan succeeded, watching their havoc on the news and reading it in papers.

Thus the actual crimes that were planned were prevented, due to surveillance, while the suspects believe they succeeded and got away with it – not being caught – and due to that believe on their part, they’re leading the intelligence to every one they’re connected to, etc.

That’s if i was a news magnate. But as such i’d be a much more mature and demure person, preferably a man, much older than i actually am, and would have started with this idea about 1938 when the Martians attacked in the ” War of the World” program hosted by Orson Welles. From that moment on i would have had all my tin soldiers in place, surveying each and every single person and group, the intelligence-gathering evidence showed to be up to no good – and play a practical joke on them, making them believe that every plan of theirs succeeds and succeeded, decade after decade – continuing to watch them, preventing all the evils they plot, by creating it in my News Studio, broadcasting and publishing it world wide, making them believe they’re constantly succeeding – while allowing them to lead the intelligence to all those they’re connected to, to prevent future plots of theirs to “actually” succeed.

And by 2012 i could finally retire, thrilled the plan of the fake news studio succeeded, grateful to’ve been part of a World working together, even going so far as to create the impression ( for the bad guys) that the countries involved in this extra-ordinary crime fighting strategy, are enemies, even fighting one another, to see who of the surveyed suspects and groups is trying to ally with whom, trying to stir whom against whom, etc.

And the day my retirement starts the curtain to the show of shows opens, by which all the surveillance gathered for decades is broadcast live on every channel around the world, for the entire world to watch – but especially for the bad guys, who’ll have, until that moment, no clue that they’d been surveyed for generations.

Thus the whole world will watch, and know who’s who. And no one will be arrested – rather the bad guys have to live with the fact everyone in the world will know who they are and what they’ve done and engaged in, with no place to hide.

Yep, that’s if i was born way before i was born – news media magnate and most importantly a man – someone whose motive and agenda is not to become wealthy, rather use the ideas to help create a peaceful world i can enjoy during my retirement. Instead i became a scribe and am not nearly old enough to have started a venue like that some seventy something years ago. But i wish someone would have, and when you wish hard enough wishes do come true, as long as they benefit a whole, rather than just oneself.
Hey, that’s what my father told me. And he fulfilled me “almost” every wish i had.
Well, …not the one when i wished to have a lion when seeing a lion pup in a zoo store. He said they grow too huge and our yard isn’t big enough. 😦




2 comments on “A World full of fake News

  1. Simon Barnwell
    December 9, 2015

    If only your wish was true , evil would be its own punishment and truth would set us free

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This entry was posted on March 28, 2012 by in Satire and tagged , , , , , , , .


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